The Day the Music Died

I went down to the sacred store, Where I'd heard the music years before, but the man there said the music wouldn't play. Don McLean-American Pie

Caution-Some very real and very raw feelings.

I am not deaf, yet.   I can still sing, and maintain a pitch, and feel that I do okay at it.  I just don't want to, and I don't know why.  I wanted to put this in writing while I am feeling it.  Hoping all the while that it passes.

I felt there were good messages at church today, but all day I was feeling off. The director had to leave before the closing hymn, so she asked me if I would direct it. (Her family sits right behind us)  I did, but I struggled to focus on the song.  I teach the Deacon's Quorum, (12-13 year old young men) and I felt my lesson was flat, no doubt, as a result of this feeling.

I came home, and wanted to break every thing musical.  I didn't, so my bass is intact, as is the piano.  I didn't trash my music or my chanter.   

Of course, those who know me know how important music is to me.  It is an integral part of my worship, in fact, I would say that I hear God speak to me through music, and that often my prayers are answered in song, more than any other medium.  The lyrics are so important to me.  I read them, not just while singing, but in personal study and reflection.  

FYI-The lyrics you put in your head are what you will hear at various times.  Lyrics of hymns and good appropriate music can usually chase away the darkest cloud. (I learned that as a Deacon, when Elder Packer spoke about it in General Conference a millennia ago) Listening to motab now.

Singing often makes it hard to understand the lyrics, as I am caught up in the beat, and the melody.  Even when I have learned the words, if I don't stop and think about them, the message can just go right by.  The brain no doubt processes it, but really?  For years, knowing, but not thinking about the words, I sang along to "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf.  I won't detail the lyrics, suffice to say that it is an highly inappropriate song.  Maybe I am just not smart enough to comprehend while singing.  Another, though not lewd, is "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" by the Beatles.

Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all the earth; make a loud noise, and rejoice, and sing praise. Psalms 98:4 KJV

It isn't whether or not you can sing, it is that you sing with spirit.  Singing praises and rejoicing.  I know that regardless of whether you are a diva singing an aria, or someone tone deaf, when you sing with your heart, the Lord will hear the Mormon Tabernacle choir, and you can join your voice with the angels in praise.  

I don't know what happened, but, for the moment, at least, the music has died.

But not a word was spoken; the church bells were all broken.

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