One week

As I write, it is 9:21 MST.  A week from now, hopefully, I will be in a hotel in Nebraska.  Heading home.

With the exception of property transfer, I no longer have a need to be at work.  Depressing in a way. To be no longer needed.  Although as an ATM, I really haven't felt needed for a  while.  I can honestly say that I have been working up to now, and have some things that I do need to do next week.  Twin Falls has been a wonderful place to work, maybe even to make a difference. however small.

The choir sings Sunday.  I will no doubt write on that.

More oppressive is the WHY?  I really did feel that it was right for me to come out here.  More than just because of the job, please don't ask for an explanation, I probably can't give it to you.  Suffice that I felt like it was what I needed to do. Three years later, having spent money traveling back to KC a few times a year, rent, etc.  the question still is, WHY?  Being away from my wife, WHY?  Away from family, WHY?  True, I have been blessed to visit with Callie. To go to football games, movies, attend the temple.  And WINGERS.  She truly has been that lifeline for me.  But, the WHY?

What have I learned here?  I guess I can be on my own.  What a pointless thing to learn.  Besides that, not sure.

I really can't emphasize enough the joy that I take in temple attendance.  I will miss being so close to a temple.  I can and have gone before work, even after, with enough time to go work, go walk, and get around for evening temple.  Of course, not working will help, but being at least an hour away and fewer sessions will require some active planning, not nearly as spontaneous.  It will be a joy to go with Sarah, I have so missed her,  Brandon, Jessie, and Paul are there, and of course Ben, Tausha, and the girls too.

It will be nice to be there for my mom, nothing made me sadder than moving my mom up, and then leaving. Isabel coming home, and then leaving.  It all comes back to WHY?  I think that it is that question that is sinking me more than anything else.  No, I never expected an obvious answer, but right now, I am just feeling that while I have worked, and loved going to the temple, and church, and choirs out here, that my time here has been for no purpose.

WHY?  If I only knew. Thankfully, it is coming to an end.

Maybe that is why I try to focus on things I can do to #LIGHTtheWORLD.  Trying to find some purpose this season.

The sad part?  I am going home, but things will not be the same.  I am not the same.  So, again,

WHY?  Between now and Christmas, find ways to #LIGHTtheWORLD  I will try.



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